Autor Thema: Episode 53 - English translation  (Gelesen 11997 mal)

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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #15 am: 10. September 2008, 21:01:48 »
Okay, I understand the palm line now. It should say "After that, you have to pawn the stolen goods off on your victim." With that meaning, you'd want pawn instead of palm.

You could use either for the Public Service announcement. I'd keep "It's a public service announcement for the environment" because it explains more fully.

Entrapment really can't be properly used that way, unfortunately. That word is more for when police officers create a situation in which the criminal has no choice other than to break the law. An entrapment can also be a situation, I suppose, but that's really more so a usage while being entrapped such as Klaus saying while the bucket is over his head, "This entrapment will not go unpunished." Truthfully, most people won't even catch it, but it's really not the word you want there. Trap is a much better word for that part, in my opinion.

The poster line still sounds off to me. You could instead say "Please do no put posters on this wall." That would sound much better and still work with the "OK" on the next poster. It's even a little pithier and much more natural. Starting it with "It's" doesn't convey well at all.

All your other changes were very good ones.
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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #16 am: 10. September 2008, 22:52:15 »
I think we got a final translation now  :D
I haven't played it yet, but I thing it's english now  ;D

the only thing left to do, is to change the starwars intro text and this will take some time  :'(

let me know if you find something that still needs to be changed



thank you very much for your help!
you did a really great job

when I'm going to translate my Halloween episode, I will contact you  ;D
if you want, you can proofread that either
don't worry, this is a much shorter game than "The Klaus strikes back"   ;)
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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #17 am: 10. September 2008, 23:59:22 »
Okay, I just played the game all the way through and it needs one more polish job. I took notes throughout and I guess I will reupload. There were things that became evident when seeing it in game. I wouldn't count the previous one as a final just yet. It's close, but not yet finished.

These are a few more thoughts I had when playing... (Don't hate me...)

The line Edna says about "getting out of the house," it might work better with the word mansion as in Maniac Mansion.

I missed what the "Thing" was in Michael's locker was suppose to be. Some kind of blue rubberish thing...?

On the newspaper of Bernard's heroism, the word wellington is still there. Maybe not worth it to change. It works if one knows a wellington is (I didn't).

I haven't heard of the proverb "Harm set is half done..." Perhaps a European thing. Maybe you'd want something more known here...

I had trouble the first time figuring out to give the pills to the empty bottle. You can't click "use viagra" with anything. "Give" is not as intuitive and was a little tricky, but it works overall, I suppose. More of something I only noticed because I was taking notes and thought I'd pass it along. Fell free to dismiss that one.

Other than that, it's mostly slight punctuation things I overlooked. I'll fix those and forward you an updated translation.

Hopefully, nothing more after that! ;D

EDIT!!!!

I do have a few more... tagging them on here...

When digging outside, the ground is referred to as the floor.  Floor isn't used outside typically. Couldn't find it in the text. Worth a look.

Is loyal the word you want when discussing the rubber boots? Seems an odd word to use for boots. If you do want it, I suppose it works.

I changed left/rightwards to read simply right and left. Should read better this way.

You used the word fork in the sanctuary. I didn't actually see a fork in the path. Looked to go in only one direction. Might want to change the word. I didn't touch it.

The line at the bulletin board when a character says "Everything at its time." I know what you mean but it's an awkward wording and another phrase would work better in my view.

"Hihi" when people laugh is up to you. It works, but we're more used to seeing "Hehe." Or for full Maniac Mansion-ness: "heh heh" is optimal. "Hihi" sounds off.

Other than those things... it's perfect as far as I can tell!
« Letzte Änderung: 11. September 2008, 00:46:13 von cinemaguy1 »
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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #18 am: 11. September 2008, 00:42:20 »
I put up this LAST translation. I'm not looking at it anymore! Hehe...

Here it is...

http://rapidshare.com/files/144236748/english.txt.html

Once you look over the notes and make the adjustments you want, we are officially done. I have nothing further, your honor...  :D

Of course, if you have any questions, let me know.
« Letzte Änderung: 11. September 2008, 00:43:29 von cinemaguy1 »
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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #19 am: 11. September 2008, 09:09:31 »
I missed what the "Thing" was in Michael's locker was suppose to be. Some kind of blue rubberish thing...?
Thing is a little blue alien following Michael since the episode "The place machine"
I think this episode already has an english translation, so you can play it and see for yourself  ;)
that is actually something you can't understand if you haven't played the other episodes yet  :-\

Zitat
I haven't heard of the proverb "Harm set is half done..." Perhaps a European thing. Maybe you'd want something more known here...
it's a mix of 2 proverbs
"Harm set, harm get."
"Well begun is half done." (actually the german original uses the proverb "The early bird catches the worm." here, but I couldn't find a good mix with that)

that was a hard one to translate, because the german version of "Harm set, harm get." is a perfect match to what Klaus is doing
it says something like "if you dig a pitfall, you will fall into it yourself"
the german version of "The early bird catches the worm." says something like "morning hours have gold in their mouths"
so the mix comes up to "if you dig a pitfall, you have gold in your mouth"  ;D
and that is what Klaus says while digging a hole in the ground  ;)

I hope you understand now and you are able to make a better mix of two proverbs  :)

Zitat
I had trouble the first time figuring out to give the pills to the empty bottle. You can't click "use viagra" with anything. "Give" is not as intuitive and was a little tricky, but it works overall, I suppose. More of something I only noticed because I was taking notes and thought I'd pass it along. Fell free to dismiss that one.
yes, that is a little tricky if you are not used to MMM-games
some items handle the command "use" different
i.e. viagra:
if you click on "use" and then on viagra, it is interpreted as "take a pill"
but if you directly click on the inventory item without clicking on "use", it is interpreted as "use inventory item with" (this will work with all inventory items)
I didn't even know that the "give" command works here  ;D

Zitat
Is loyal the word you want when discussing the rubber boots? Seems an odd word to use for boots. If you do want it, I suppose it works.
at some point in my first game, the halloween episode "Day Of The Dead", you are zapping through the TV channels
on one of the channels you hear the sentence "And that's how my loyal red rubber boots have saved my life."
so the "loyal red rubber boots" in episode 53 are just a reference to "Day Of The Dead", some sort of a personal running gag  ;)

Zitat
You used the word fork in the sanctuary. I didn't actually see a fork in the path. Looked to go in only one direction. Might want to change the word. I didn't touch it.
I know, but the sanctuary is another location not created by me, so I used the same names as Mulle The Maniac did

Zitat
The line at the bulletin board when a character says "Everything at its time." I know what you mean but it's an awkward wording and another phrase would work better in my view.
do you know a fitting proverb or something?
actually I have no idea right now

Zitat
"Hihi" when people laugh is up to you. It works, but we're more used to seeing "Hehe." Or for full Maniac Mansion-ness: "heh heh" is optimal. "Hihi" sounds off.
well, I consider "Hihi" more as a giggle than a laugh  ;)

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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #20 am: 11. September 2008, 19:06:18 »
and here are some lines from me

The door won't open anymore and it's impossible to lock it.
The door won't open anymore and it's impossible to unlock it.

door is already unlocked, but it is jammed
so Klaus is able to open it with a punch
it's supposed to be a hint for the player  ;)



On the left poster is written: "Please do no put posters on this wall!"
On the left poster is written: "It's not allowed to put posters on this wall!"

why did you change that back to the old version?
or did I change it after sending the new translation to you?  ???



"No, I'm completely healthly."
did you mean "healthy"?



After that, you have to pawn the stolen goods off on your victim.
After that, you have to palm the stolen goods off on your victim.

why did you chang pawn back to palm?



What's up, you little mischief?
What's up, you little miscreant?

I think I will use "What's up, you little rascal?"
is that ok?
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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #21 am: 11. September 2008, 22:48:33 »
Ah, ok the door thing, I should have asked about it. I stared at it for awhile before deciding on that one. At the time, unlock seemed to fit better. Guess not though.

Yeah, I didn't change the poster. We probably had different versions of the .txt. It's gone back and forth a few times. I hope you have the full current one installed in the game.

Yup. healthy. Good thing we're both looking at this.

As for palm, I don't think on any of the run-throughs, I touched that one. Probably a version thing. Again, I hope everything else is up to date.

Rascal works just fine. I'm going to delete the older versions I have of the .txt file now, so we can both be up to date. I thought of that after sending the last one. If you have more than one, I'd run a comparison of them all to see that all the changes make it to the final .txt.
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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #22 am: 11. September 2008, 23:17:32 »
I am not quite sure now
what is the better version

box with balloons
box of balloons

you changed "order paper fake" to "fake work order"
but left "order paper" in two other lines

what's better now? "order paper" or "work order"
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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #23 am: 12. September 2008, 01:44:24 »
Box of balloons is better. And fake work order was what my roommate came up with up. It runs better than fake order paper. I guess for the other items, "blank work order" would suffice. Then "fake work order" for after it's filled out. That would convey better, I think.
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Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #24 am: 12. September 2008, 19:56:14 »
I've sent you a PM containing the link to another "final" version  ;D ;)

I just played the game in english now and it really sounds good now  :D
but I did some changes by myself
changed some "OK" to "Okay"
corrected the comment for the wood polish from "I don't need them." to "I don't need it."
and other stuff I don't remember now  :P

when you think this version is OK, I'm going to publish it  :)
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